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Six Degrees of Separation – just took three!

Today, I did a quick internet search (step 1) on The Rhema Project. I noticed that a young woman (Abbey Weist) had featured one of our videos on her PSA Digital Story project (step 2).

Thanks Abbey!

Reading more on her twitter feed I saw another video produced by Help a Child of India. on female infanticide (step 3).

YouTube Preview Image Watching the video I was so happy to see Dr. Pari Titus and Masi from Bethel AFC sharing their story. As many of you may not know Dr. Titus was one of the most helpful people we met when we began to better understand the issue of female gendercide and how to help change a cultural attitude when we started The Rhema Project in January 2008.

Bethel AFC has been a key partner from day 1. For over 50 years they have been doing amazing work in South India.

Seeing many of the familiar faces in the Baby Home as well as knowing the young girls that shared their stories reaffirmed the great works of the staff at Bethel AFC.

We are greatly encourage that other NGOs like Help a Child of India are working with organizations like Bethel AFC to bring value to the girl-child and end the practice of female gendercide.

Donate let 9,000 miles (America to India) separate you from connecting with the girls of India.

Watch. Enjoy. Learn how you too can be a part of the story here or even here!

Good and Evil

Please tell me what you were thinking when you killed my sister?

Please tell me what you were thinking when you killed my sister?

I believe Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn captured the challenge of female gendercide in India today when he penned these comments over 50 years ago.

“It was granted me to carry away from my prison years on my bent back, which nearly broke beneath its load, this essential experience:

how a human being becomes evil and how good.

In the intoxication of youthful successes I had felt myself to be infallible, and I was therefore cruel. In the surfeit of power I was a murderer and an oppressor.

In my most evil moments I was convinced that I was doing good, and I was well supplied with systematic arguments.

And it was only when I lay there rotting on prison straw that I sensed within myself the first stirrings of good.

Gradually it was disclosed to me that the line separating good and evil passes not through states, nor between classes, nor between political parties either—but right through every human heart—and through all human hearts.

…”
- Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

Indian culture has devalued the life of the female for generations and her death is somehow justified as good (for the betterment of all). We have also witnessed the key to transformation is not through the state (government) or the classes (caste system) but through changing the heart of a father and mother toward their daughter.

When we focus on this the cultural changes are amazing to see.

Please join us!

“If you knew me, you would not kill me.”

genocide20rwanda

Brian McLaren shared this recount in his book, Why Did Jesus, Moses, the Buddha, and Mohammed Cross the Road?

Christian mission begins with friendship—not utilitarian friendship, the religious version of network marketing—but genuine friendship, friendship that translates love for neighbors in general into knowing, appreciating, liking, and enjoying this or that neighbor in particular. This knowing-in-particular then motivates us to protect our neighbor when he or she is under threat, as a little Rwandan girl understood: just before she was brutally murdered during the genocide, she said to her slayer, “If you knew me, you would not kill me.”

I truly believe this is the simple truth on why we have seen a remarkable change in the cultural attitude of many Indian’s toward the girl-child. Our Prenatal & Newborn Care initiative causes the decision-makers (usually husbands and his parents) to “get to know” his daughter and their granddaughter. When this happens they no longer kill it but love her.

Newborn girl

Happy Mother’s Day?

Photo Feb 02, 12 00 59 PM On May 12, 2013 many parts of the world (including India) will celebrate Mother’s Day to honor mothers, motherhood, maternal bonds, and the influence of mothers on society.

Yet in India today, millions of mothers are shamed and humiliated or even beaten to death for birthing a daughter. They are often forced to have a late term abortion after an illegal sex determination ultrasound is preformed that identifies the fetus as a girl-baby. Nearly one million times each year they must helplessly watch their newborn daughters being ripped away from them and then watch them being killed by their in-laws simply because they were not a boy-baby. They and their daughters only eat once the men and boys have had their fill. Their daughters are deemed worthless and a burden to the family. Many times their daughters are not allowed to attend school in order to fetch water and firewood for the family. Because they are a burden to the family a bridal dowry of 5 to 10 times a family’s income is demanded by the groom’s family to compensate them for their “loss.”

The psychological trauma is overwhelming to most young Indian mothers. After watching this story continually repeat itself in their lives sometimes they too participate in the ending of their baby daughter’s life. Over and over, we have been told by Indian mothers

“Why would I want my precious daughter to endure what I have had to – a short time of pain (death) is much better than a lifelong time of hardship and suffering.”

However, a new day is coming for mothers and their daughters in India because of the tireless efforts of The Rhema Project’s programs in India. The picture (above) is becoming more commonplace in the villages where we work. Recently we have shared the story of Rahda and how education has given her and her daughter new hope.

Next Sunday, treat your mother with honor and respect. Thank her for what she has done for you. Kindness and respect are learned behaviors that we are attempting to model and demonstrate to the mothers and daughters of India.

Maybe, in addition to a gift of chocolate, flowers or dinner out for your mom, you might consider a donation to The Rhema Project that will greatly impact the life of a girl-baby and her mother forever.

Education – friend or foe to the Indian girl-child?

Dressed in their "sport's day" uniform colors these two girls attend Bethel AFC's excellent matriculation school.

Dressed in their “sport’s day” uniform colors these two girls attend Bethel AFC’s excellent matriculation school.

Recently there have been several bloggers post articles questioning the value of education in improving the fate and value of the Indian girl-child. Their premise is the 2011 Indian census has revealed that there is no difference in the sex ratios of the educated and illiterate of India. In addition, in some “highly educated” communities the rate of female feticide is much higher than the national average.

How can this be true?

Simply, they are coming to this conclusion by looking back into time and not to the future. The bridal dowry is the primary reason for parents to commit female gendercide on their daughters through infant infanticide or sex determination feticide. For many parents educating a daughter means they will have to pay the groom’s family a higher price as the result of “matching” their educated daughter with an educated son-in-law. For the parents to keep their wealth it is better not to have a daughter. To gain wealth it is much much better to have a son.

However, when you study the impact an education has on the girl-child and her future family the value is profound. This is why The Rhema Project financially supports educational initiatives for the Indian girl-child.

An educated girl-child;

1. Has a better understanding of who she is.
2. Is less likely to be isolated and abused.
3. Increases her earning power by 10 to 15% for each year she remains in school.
4. Is less likely to be married as a child-bride (under 16).
5. Has an average of 3.2 children versus 6.1 children of the typically Indian woman.
6. Is much more likely to sacrifice in order to send her children to school.
7. Is much less likely to kill her newborn and unborn daughters.

The Rhema Project has made the strategic decision to invest in the education of the girl-child by financially supporting existing schools and village tuition centers (after-school study halls). For approximately $100 per year we can fund the tuition costs, book fees and purchase her school uniforms when she attends primary school. Secondary school costs approximately $250 and a community college or vocational trade school is $500 per year.

When you look into the future of the Indian girl-child, receiving a good education is her very best friend.

One v All?

Parameswari 1 One of the biggest challenges we face is when do we “invest” limited resources on one individual versus allocating those same funds to benefit all. Smarter minds than mine have debated this for years. Add the Indian cultural values the group much more than the individual which is most times exactly the opposite for we westerners.

Last month while in India we had one of opportunities to choose. This young girl had developed a skin disease that led to her mother abandoning her and relinquishing all of her parental rights. The orphanage did not have the discretionary funds for her to see a specialist to determine if there was even any treatment.

After a brief discussion a couple of our team members wanted to advocate for her not knowing if any treatment would be helpful but a medical exam needed to be the first step.

Earlier this week I received an update. She was responding to the treatment and the disease seemed to be responding to the medicine prescribed. Maybe more importantly her emotional well-being had significantly improved. Her smile had returned and her hope was renewed.

This time we chose one and I think it was the right choice!

Esther – An Amazing Woman of Courage

DSC01378 We first met this remarkable woman last month when we were visiting a remote village in Tamil Nadu, India. She is a woman of great courage and influence even though all of the “cultural markers” in her life would tell you otherwise.

First, she is a woman. Many times and especially in remote villages of Tamil Nadu are not valued even by their immediate families. Young girls are the property of their parents and their future will be determined and marriage arranged by their parents. They have little to no voice.

Second, Esther has never attended school. She is illiterate and cannot write her name. Her parents were of the poorest of the poor and never saw the value of sending her to school. So, as a young girl she spent most days collecting firewood and fetching water.

Third, she has never been married. Many girls in India are never given a last name. When young they are often referred to as “the daughter of…” and when their marriage is arranged they become “the wife of… from…” Her value is never her own it is derived by her caste and family status.

Finally, Esther is a Christian. In a country where the vast majority of people are Hindu, becoming a Christ-follower comes at a very high cost. Most times you will not only loose your birth and property rights but your family will disown you.

Yet, in spite of, or maybe it is because of these factors, Esther has become one of the most influential people in her village as well as four neighboring villages. She is a pastor who shares her faith by asking others to read to her scripture and then quietly explains to them what they have just read. Esther demonstrates her faith by rescuing unwanted baby girls from certain death by pleading with their birth parents not to kill them.

She does this by caring for her friends and neighbors right where they are but loves them to not leave them there.

This is why we were so excited to have the opportunity to partner with Esther and start our Prenatal & Newborn Care program in this area. Our surveys have revealed that there are hundreds of baby girls killed each and every year just in this region alone. Most just like Esther except she was allowed to live.

I can think of no one more equipped to turn this culture upside down than Esther. We have so much to learn from her.

Rahda’s Story – Why Education?

Last month we had the privilege of meeting Rahda and hearing her story. Each morning she rises and awakens her daughter so that they can both do their daily chores around her parents home.

Rahda Shares a Photo of Her Daughter.

Rahda Shares a Photo of Her Daughter.

Then Rahda jumps on her bicycle and rides her daughter to her school before riding 30 minutes to Bethel Community College. At 3:30 PM she rides back to her daughter’s school just in time to meet her as school ends for the day.

Next month Rahda will start her field work at a local hospital and in June will earn her degree as a nursing assistant. At that time she will have the opportunity to work at a hospital or local health clinic and earn up to 3 times as much as should could in the textile factory.

Watch her tell her amazing story of courage and determination here.

Riding to a Much Brighter Future!

DSC00326 We always attempt to leverage existing resources to maximize change for the Indian girl child. Even in the most rural villages in India you will find a primary government school offering education to children through the 5th standard (grade). In most villages we have been able to increase the number of girls attending school by drilling a bore well in the community. Our agreement. Everyone gets free and clean drinking water – the girls get to attend school because they no longer need to walk to neighboring villages for water each day.

Most Indian girls that are allowed to attend primary school are not allowed to continue past 5th standard because the secondary school (6th thru 12th standard) is typically only in a larger village that may be several miles away. Even if a public bus might stop in the village many parents are not “interested” in paying for bus tokens for their girls to continue their education.

So, WE BUY BIKES. Each girl that graduates from the 5th standard with good marks is given a brand new bicycle so she can ride to school. They now have a new-found freedom and the chance to leverage their education for a much better tomorrow.

Sophie’s Story

DSC01709Meet Sophie. She is a shy 16 month old living in an orphanage north of Salem in Tamil Nadu, India. She is a beautiful little girl that can be adopted internationally.

She was born with a disfigured right hand and shortened arm. However she does have use of this arm. Otherwise she is as normal as any other child.

Sadly, because of her disability she will not be adopted by an Indian family but the good news is a family outside of India will truly be blessed!

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