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Posts Tagged ‘Community Transformation’

Good and Evil

Please tell me what you were thinking when you killed my sister?

Please tell me what you were thinking when you killed my sister?

I believe Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn captured the challenge of female gendercide in India today when he penned these comments over 50 years ago.

“It was granted me to carry away from my prison years on my bent back, which nearly broke beneath its load, this essential experience:

how a human being becomes evil and how good.

In the intoxication of youthful successes I had felt myself to be infallible, and I was therefore cruel. In the surfeit of power I was a murderer and an oppressor.

In my most evil moments I was convinced that I was doing good, and I was well supplied with systematic arguments.

And it was only when I lay there rotting on prison straw that I sensed within myself the first stirrings of good.

Gradually it was disclosed to me that the line separating good and evil passes not through states, nor between classes, nor between political parties either—but right through every human heart—and through all human hearts.

…”
- Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

Indian culture has devalued the life of the female for generations and her death is somehow justified as good (for the betterment of all). We have also witnessed the key to transformation is not through the state (government) or the classes (caste system) but through changing the heart of a father and mother toward their daughter.

When we focus on this the cultural changes are amazing to see.

Please join us!

Esther – An Amazing Woman of Courage

DSC01378 We first met this remarkable woman last month when we were visiting a remote village in Tamil Nadu, India. She is a woman of great courage and influence even though all of the “cultural markers” in her life would tell you otherwise.

First, she is a woman. Many times and especially in remote villages of Tamil Nadu are not valued even by their immediate families. Young girls are the property of their parents and their future will be determined and marriage arranged by their parents. They have little to no voice.

Second, Esther has never attended school. She is illiterate and cannot write her name. Her parents were of the poorest of the poor and never saw the value of sending her to school. So, as a young girl she spent most days collecting firewood and fetching water.

Third, she has never been married. Many girls in India are never given a last name. When young they are often referred to as “the daughter of…” and when their marriage is arranged they become “the wife of… from…” Her value is never her own it is derived by her caste and family status.

Finally, Esther is a Christian. In a country where the vast majority of people are Hindu, becoming a Christ-follower comes at a very high cost. Most times you will not only loose your birth and property rights but your family will disown you.

Yet, in spite of, or maybe it is because of these factors, Esther has become one of the most influential people in her village as well as four neighboring villages. She is a pastor who shares her faith by asking others to read to her scripture and then quietly explains to them what they have just read. Esther demonstrates her faith by rescuing unwanted baby girls from certain death by pleading with their birth parents not to kill them.

She does this by caring for her friends and neighbors right where they are but loves them to not leave them there.

This is why we were so excited to have the opportunity to partner with Esther and start our Prenatal & Newborn Care program in this area. Our surveys have revealed that there are hundreds of baby girls killed each and every year just in this region alone. Most just like Esther except she was allowed to live.

I can think of no one more equipped to turn this culture upside down than Esther. We have so much to learn from her.

Female Gendercide Report from Haryana, India

Thanks to Dr. Vipin Kalia (TRP board member) and his connections in India we have the opportunity to visit with an Indian doctor working in Haryana, India. This state has one of the highest rates of female gendercide in all of India.

It is our hope to be able to share our successes so that they too can implement the Prenatal & Newborn Care initiative in villages in Haryana.

Will keep you posted!

Indian Father Reflects Cultural Change

Three and one-half years ago almost all baby girls (other than first born) did not survive in this rural village in South India. For the “lucky” surviving baby girls their parents did not celebrate their birth or life and typically dressed them in very non-discript clothing so they would not experience discrimination. No long hair. No bangles. No pierced ears. No dresses.

The Rhema Project first drilled a well (community need) and then launched its first Prenatal & Newborn Care Initiative in this village.

1. Expectant mothers received daily milk and vitamin allotments.
2. Each month these women were taken for a prenatal exam and were treated to a meal at an Indian restaurant.
3. Our staff began to share the value of all babies and how to care for them.
4. When a baby girl was born we celebrated her life with small gifts. Village families always celebrate the birth of boys.
5. Families with baby girls were allowed to continue on daily milk and vitamin program for an additional six months.

Today, the health of all newborns has been greatly improved. Parents are pushing back the cultural discrimination of baby girls and are demonstrating and expressing their love for their daughters.

Today, the ratio of baby girls to boys has returned to near normal levels. Fathers are seen carrying and caring for their daughters. These little girls now are dressed in dresses, their hair is longer and many have bangles on their wrists and ankles.

Plus the village primary school has gone from an enrollment of 70 boys and 30 girls to nearly equal attendance of girls and boys.

We are replicating our Prenatal & Newborn Care Initiative in nearby villages with the goal of expanding into many more villages in 2013. For more information on our Prenatal & Newborn Care Initiative or how your family, church or friends can fund the transformation of a village culture and change the fate of hundreds of baby girls, email us at info@therhemaproject.org.

She’s the Change We Wish to See in India!

Earlier this spring I was lucky enough to participate in the University of Notre Dame’s Nonprofit Executive Program sponsored by the Mendoza College of Business. Fifteen leaders from both local and national organizations spent time learning from top thinkers in the nonprofit world and learning to better collaborate with each other.

One exercise we outlined a new campaign for The Rhema Project. Scott Jackson, a great thespian and director of Shakespeare at Notre Dame came up with the idea to take one of Mahatma Gandhi’s most renown quotes,


” Be the Change you wish to see in this World”

and refashioned it to reflect what we know is true and will become the value of the Indian girl child in the near future.

“She’s the Change We Wish to See in India!”

Here’s what we know. Even (specially) in villages and communities that practice female gendercide (infanticide, feticide and discrimination) the closer we can keep the baby girl to her birth parents the more quickly the family, village and community transforms itself to one that loves and values its daughters. To us living in the west this seems not only counter-intuitive but possibly potentially life-threatening to her. But with our Indian staff working in these villages on a daily bases the transformation of value is simply astounding to witness.

The person (baby girl) with no perceived power, influence, education or wealth can do what no government, politician, high caste or westerner can – transform a culture from within.

So, here’s what we did. We purchased these rag or circle dolls from an organizations that rescues homeless women and their children from the streets and teaches them not only the skills of sewing but guides them toward understanding their real value.

Second, we will give one of these rag dolls to people that become part of the Circle of Rhema’s Friends – donors that are willing to stand in the gap and help us change the destiny of another Indian girl baby with a donation of $420/yr or $35/mo.

Here’s what is amazing – most of us think we are more like a newborn Indian girl than we would like to admit. Almost every day someone decides not to act because they falsely believe they can’t make a dent in changing the fate of nearly 3 million Indian girls that do not survive to see their 2nd birthday. Truth be told, most days, I question my sanity in believing that a small, start-up nonprofit located in northern Indiana lead by a guy with limited skills and resources can help change a cultural value held by people living nearly 9,000 miles away.

But then, I remember what I have seen in the life of baby Rhema and the thousands of girl babies just like her accomplish through their life throughout South India – and I believe!

Who wants to be a part of the first 50 of Rhema’s friends?

UN Report: India worst place for girl child

This article was posted by Christian Today/India on Monday, February 6, 2012.

Unfortunately, “top down” legislation is at best extremely ineffective but this is where the most resources will be allocated because laws typically are in-acted to change actions. Just in the last few years, India as legislated 1) birth parent ID, 2) outlawed sex determination in ultrasounds and 3) restricted the adoption fees charged by the agencies to adoptive parents. Without exception, little if any change has occurred toward the killing of girls only the financial cost has increased significantly However, grassroots efforts, like our Prenatal and Newborn Care initiative is having significant impact on changing the cultural attitude of the Indian girl child from one of a liability to one of true value.

The country has the worst gender-based discrepancy in child mortality rates in the world.

Data from the United Nations shows that girls face an overwhelmingly greater risk of mortality than boys in India.

Statistics produced by the United Nations Department of Economic and Social Affairs show that India may be the worst place in the world to be born a girl. The case for this bold statement comes from the fact that an Indian girl-child below the age of five is 75 per cent more likely to die than her male counterpart.

The country has the worst gender-based discrepancy in child mortality rates in the world.

India’s situation remains different from that of its South Asian peers, Pakistan and Sri Lanka, where girls’ survival rates are better than boys’.

Globally, overall child mortality is falling, but India and China are not experiencing the same improvements in girls’ mortality occurring in other countries.

Girls are naturally more likely to survive infancy, given the same access to resources as boys. But, female child mortality in India has worsened over the past four decades. By the 2000s, only 56 male children died for every 100 females who died—the average in the developing world is 111 deaths of the boy-child.

In India, boys are favoured over girls, who represent a cost to their families in terms of dowries and weddings.

China, however, fares worse than India when it comes to infant mortality (deaths among children under the age of one). In China, 76 male infants die for every 100 females. While in India, 97 males infants die for every 100 females.

The World’s Women and Girls 2011 Data Sheet published by the Population Reference Bureau, presents projections indicating that while China and the rest of the world are expected to improve their skewed sex ratios between now and 2050, India’s will remain constant at 108 boys for every 100 girls. The natural rate is 105 boys for every 100 girls.

The UK’s Telegraph spoke to Ranjana Kumari of the Council for Social Research, who spoke about parents’ own discrimination against their daughters. Indian mothers, she said, breastfeed girls for a shorter length of time than they do boys for fear that extended breastfeeding will speed the age of puberty and the need for an expensive wedding.

Parents also wait longer to seek medical care for their daughters, whose survival is not as important as their sons, particularly in rural India. Experts have also pointed to female infanticide as another problem.

Women and girls make up 60 per cent of the world’s hungry. They are among the first people to go without when food is scarce. This affects their overall health and wellbeing, including immune vulnerability to diseases.

India has the second-largest population in the world. In less than 40 years it will surpass China as the world’s most populous nation with more than 1.6 billion inhabitants. But 900 million people—about 76 per cent of the population—live on less than $2 a day.

The $500 Question – Year End Review

It has been an amazing year watching our small initiatives bring life, value and opportunity to the Indian girl child spark a movement across south India.

Because of your generosity with have seen the survival rate of girl babies increase 75 to 80% in remote villages.

We have heard foster parents tell us they no longer want our monthly financial support because they believed it was their responsibility to not only love and provide care for these abandoned girls but to support them financially.

We have seen a barren plot of ground be reclaimed through drip irrigation that now provides vegetables and other produce to 85 school children, single parent families and the forgotten elderly.

Bethel School Children Singing Before Class We have watched preschool and kindergarten children sing from the depth’s of their souls as they prepared to enter their newly renovated school.

We have listened to young women weep as they share the gratitude and hope they now have as they study to become a nursing assistant which will not only increase their income by 3 fold but will give them dignity and self-worth.

We have watched fathers proudly hold their young daughters sharing they never knew a girl could bring so much joy and happiness to their families.

We have seen children from the poorest of poor Indian families excel in their school work because their teachers not only taught them well but were adequately compensated for their worth.

We have been inspired by the reaction of nearly 1,200 college students after they were confronted with the horrors of female infanticide and sex determination feticide and then bringing their very best to encourage Indian girls to hold onto their hopes and dreams.

We have partnered with an amazing company to bring joy to a group of orphan girls.

Even though my eyes, ears and heart has experienced all the good and right of our efforts, I must admit there are days that I must fight through the melancholy of the challenges that still remain ahead.

I remember sitting with a middle-aged women as she wept over her village that kills hundreds of baby girls each year and casually drops their dying bodies in the well in front of their small clinic.

I learn of an ultrasound device the size of my iPhone that is being sold to evil men in India so they can illegally tell a family the sex of their unborn for $10 and direct them to a friend’s abortion clinic where 99 out of 100 aborted fetuses are girl babies.

I sit and listen to the director of an orphanage tell a hospital they cannot take any more abandoned newborn girls this month. Even though the orphanage actually has a waiting list of Indian families wanting to adopt a girl baby they cannot take more babies because the government will not allow them to charge enough for their basic services to rescue, care and place these death-bond newborns.

So, there are times I must fight through the whys. Why am I not smarter so I can raise more money? Why am I not more convincing when I share the story so more will be inspired to give? Why is it so easy for me to be critical of others’ excesses when I have a constant personal battle discerning my over indulgent wants from my more than adequate needs?

Angela Visits Children Attending a One Room School

As we approach the end of 2011 here is what I know – We know we can rescue Indian girl babies from death. We know how to begin to transform a culture so that it values their daughters as much as they do their sons. We know we have remarkable field partners and we are astounded on how much they can accomplish with so little resources.

Here is what I believe. The financial cost to bring life, value and opportunity to an Indian girl baby is $500. That’s the number. $500 allows us to change her fate from death to life. The transaction can be as simple as subsidizing the orphanage’s costs for an Indian family to adopt a baby girl to the complexities of transforming a village that is presently killing 75% of its baby girls.

$500 at times seems like a lot of money to spend. At other times I don’t think twice about it. But $500 is the cost on whether one newborn girl baby lives or dies in India in 2012. For me and my family, 2012 is a year we will learn to choose to spend our financial resources more wisely.

God bless!

“It is better for me to kill every girl baby I can….!”

She is the head midwife in one of the villages we work in in South India. We had just finished participating in the daily milk program we started a few months ago – each pregnant women receives one liter of milk and a mother with a newborn daughter receives 2 liters of milk. Sister Malar (one of our paid staff) also works with the pregnant women to educate them on prenatal care and schedules and travels with them for their monthly checkups at the hospital.

It is easy me to have rage and anger for this women when I hear her tell us that she has proudly killed 5 of her own daughters. I also know that her hands have killed (The practice in this village is the new born girl is taken from her mother at birth, placed in a jug filled with water until she expires. The dead baby girl is then buried by her siblings in the front yard of their home) hundreds if not thousands of girl babies in this village alone over her lifetime (2 years ago up to 50 girl babies were killed each year just in this one village).

But God tells me to have compassion on her. To pray for her. She has lost all hope. She has been beaten by her husband for only bearing girls (I know its the male that determines the sex of the child). She has been mocked and spit upon by her neighbors for only giving her husband one son to care for them in their old age. For years she beat her son’s wife and treated her as a slave. She has drown her own granddaughters. she hates her daughter-in-law because her husband treats her as his young second wife. Now, her daugher-in-law has started to seek revenge for the years of mistreatment and has started to beat her. You can feel the evil surrounding this women – she is most likely possessed by a demonic spirit that has attached itself to one of the many Hindu gods she worships.

In India you hear stories time and time again of a man of peace, dressed in a white robe appearing in a vision or a dream to a person. After the visit the person’s life is transformed. They become a new person in search of a true God that will give them hope, a purpose and heart of love. God may have a different plan for changing the heart and attitude of this midwife. It may be through Brother Phillip, Sister Malar, Raj, Prema or through the actions of a strange white man with gray hair from America.
Hindu Midwife
I would like to ask everyone that reads this post to download this photo, share it with others and pray with me that God will touch the heart of this misguided woman in a small rural village in South India. He already knows her name and exact location.

God’s speed!

The Spirit of the Children

Final prep day before the team jumps on a 24 hour plane ride to Chennai. One of the joys of traveling to India is experiencing the joy of the children. The laugh, sing, play and constantly want to engage you in conversation and play.

Most times their play toys are either a couple of sticks or a game of chase. They do not seem to see the hardships or obstacles they will face. They smile when they have not eaten all day. They sing when they hurt from loosing their closest friend. In some places little girls have no sisters – killed at birth because their families believe girls have no value.

Our mission is to bring life, value and opportunity to the Indian girl child. To be a catalyst that triggers a culture to change from within. Our prayer is the the joy of life seen in these kids from Kalavai will become the norm for all of their lives.

Elle White Photography

Who Will Tell Them if They Don’t Know?

Like Phillip, Malar is a pastor in a nearby village. Her father was the person that first introduced us to the village leaders where Rhema was born. Last summer she joined our team and begin to visit with the village women each day. She got to know them. Their families. She learned their hopes and dreams for a better tomorrow. Very quickly she earned their trust. Malar helped launch the daily milk program for all pregnant village women. She scheduled the transportation and accompanied the women to the medical clinic for prenatal care exams. She encourages them to go to the hospital for the delivery of their babies.

Malar Shares Treats with School Children.

She became their friend.

Malar has shared her faith and her belief that all life is a gift from God. Today, when a girl baby is born in the village her new life is celebrated with a small baby gift. Her family continues to receive daily milk for the next 6 months. Malar has convinced most families to keep ALL newborn babies. For those that still believe the hardship to raise a girl baby is too much she finds, trains and equips other families to become foster parents.

We realize we still have much to do to bring value and opportunity to the girl child in this remote village.

However, I know this: Without Malar and Philip the journey would be longer and much, much more difficult.

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