On May 12, 2013 many parts of the world (including India) will celebrate Mother’s Day to honor mothers, motherhood, maternal bonds, and the influence of mothers on society.

Yet in India today, millions of mothers are shamed and humiliated or even beaten to death for birthing a daughter. They are often forced to have a late term abortion after an illegal sex determination ultrasound is preformed that identifies the fetus as a girl-baby. Nearly one million times each year they must helplessly watch their newborn daughters being ripped away from them and then watch them being killed by their in-laws simply because they were not a boy-baby. They and their daughters only eat once the men and boys have had their fill. Their daughters are deemed worthless and a burden to the family. Many times their daughters are not allowed to attend school in order to fetch water and firewood for the family. Because they are a burden to the family a bridal dowry of 5 to 10 times a family’s income is demanded by the groom’s family to compensate them for their “loss.”

The psychological trauma is overwhelming to most young Indian mothers. After watching this story continually repeat itself in their lives sometimes they too participate in the ending of their baby daughter’s life. Over and over, we have been told by Indian mothers

“Why would I want my precious daughter to endure what I have had to – a short time of pain (death) is much better than a lifelong time of hardship and suffering.”

However, a new day is coming for mothers and their daughters in India because of the tireless efforts of The Rhema Project’s programs in India. The picture (above) is becoming more commonplace in the villages where we work. Recently we have shared the story of Rahda and how education has given her and her daughter new hope.

Next Sunday, treat your mother with honor and respect. Thank her for what she has done for you. Kindness and respect are learned behaviors that we are attempting to model and demonstrate to the mothers and daughters of India.

Maybe, in addition to a gift of chocolate, flowers or dinner out for your mom, you might consider a donation to The Rhema Project that will greatly impact the life of a girl-baby and her mother forever.

Dressed in their “sport’s day” uniform colors these two girls attend Bethel AFC’s excellent matriculation school.

Recently there have been several bloggers post articles questioning the value of education in improving the fate and value of the Indian girl-child. Their premise is the 2011 Indian census has revealed that there is no difference in the sex ratios of the educated and illiterate of India. In addition, in some “highly educated” communities the rate of female feticide is much higher than the national average.

How can this be true?

Simply, they are coming to this conclusion by looking back into time and not to the future. The bridal dowry is the primary reason for parents to commit female gendercide on their daughters through infant infanticide or sex determination feticide. For many parents educating a daughter means they will have to pay the groom’s family a higher price as the result of “matching” their educated daughter with an educated son-in-law. For the parents to keep their wealth it is better not to have a daughter. To gain wealth it is much much better to have a son.

However, when you study the impact an education has on the girl-child and her future family the value is profound. This is why The Rhema Project financially supports educational initiatives for the Indian girl-child.

An educated girl-child;

1. Has a better understanding of who she is.
2. Is less likely to be isolated and abused.
3. Increases her earning power by 10 to 15% for each year she remains in school.
4. Is less likely to be married as a child-bride (under 16).
5. Has an average of 3.2 children versus 6.1 children of the typically Indian woman.
6. Is much more likely to sacrifice in order to send her children to school.
7. Is much less likely to kill her newborn and unborn daughters.

The Rhema Project has made the strategic decision to invest in the education of the girl-child by financially supporting existing schools and village tuition centers (after-school study halls). For approximately $100 per year we can fund the tuition costs, book fees and purchase her school uniforms when she attends primary school. Secondary school costs approximately $250 and a community college or vocational trade school is $500 per year.

When you look into the future of the Indian girl-child, receiving a good education is her very best friend.

We first met this remarkable woman last month when we were visiting a remote village in Tamil Nadu, India. She is a woman of great courage and influence even though all of the “cultural markers” in her life would tell you otherwise.

First, she is a woman. Many times and especially in remote villages of Tamil Nadu are not valued even by their immediate families. Young girls are the property of their parents and their future will be determined and marriage arranged by their parents. They have little to no voice.

Second, Esther has never attended school. She is illiterate and cannot write her name. Her parents were of the poorest of the poor and never saw the value of sending her to school. So, as a young girl she spent most days collecting firewood and fetching water.

Third, she has never been married. Many girls in India are never given a last name. When young they are often referred to as “the daughter of…” and when their marriage is arranged they become “the wife of… from…” Her value is never her own it is derived by her caste and family status.

Finally, Esther is a Christian. In a country where the vast majority of people are Hindu, becoming a Christ-follower comes at a very high cost. Most times you will not only loose your birth and property rights but your family will disown you.

Yet, in spite of, or maybe it is because of these factors, Esther has become one of the most influential people in her village as well as four neighboring villages. She is a pastor who shares her faith by asking others to read to her scripture and then quietly explains to them what they have just read. Esther demonstrates her faith by rescuing unwanted baby girls from certain death by pleading with their birth parents not to kill them.

She does this by caring for her friends and neighbors right where they are but loves them to not leave them there.

This is why we were so excited to have the opportunity to partner with Esther and start our Prenatal & Newborn Care program in this area. Our surveys have revealed that there are hundreds of baby girls killed each and every year just in this region alone. Most just like Esther except she was allowed to live.

I can think of no one more equipped to turn this culture upside down than Esther. We have so much to learn from her.

Thanks to Dr. Vipin Kalia (TRP board member) and his connections in India we have the opportunity to visit with an Indian doctor working in Haryana, India. This state has one of the highest rates of female gendercide in all of India.

It is our hope to be able to share our successes so that they too can implement the Prenatal & Newborn Care initiative in villages in Haryana.

Will keep you posted!

I am glad we highlight and celebrate the encouragement of adoption during the entire month of November. It seems November is the perfect month to not only express thanks to the adoptive paren
ts but for the joy the children have brought into their new families.

In our immediate family, I not only had the privilege of becoming Shannon and Ginger’s adoptive dad but we also have an amazing grandson that came into our family when he was first born.

This is also the opportunity we are attempting to support with The Rhema Project. As crazy as it sounds, there are good Indian families that are waiting to adopt an abandoned Indian baby girl. And, there are cradle babies that are turned away by qualified orphanages that are approved to complete domestic adoptions.

WHY? The government in its attempt to prevent corruption limits the amount an orphanage can charge for its adoptive services – it “costs” the orphanage approximately $500 more to rescue and care for the abandoned baby girl and complete and monitor the adoption process. So, the orphanage must limit the number of adoption strictly for financial reasons.

Good news. The government does not limit The Rhema Project from contributing to an orphan fund that can be then be used by the orphanage of offset the financial difference. This also reinforces our strategy that Indians must lead and “own” the solution to end the gendercide of baby girls.

During the month of November, for those wanted to share in the experience and support the adoption of an Indian baby girl to an Indian family can make a contribution (any amount) on our website (www.therhemaproject.org) or mail a charitable gift (note adoption) to The Rhema Project PO Box 10013 South Bend, IN 46680

Early next month, many Indians all around the world will be celebrating Diwali or Deepawali – festival of light. Traditionally celebrated by Hindus, Sikhs and Jains it has transcended its religious roots to become a cultural event much like Thanksgiving or Easter here in America.